Sed ad hoc on est ad mortem
That day was a grappling condition of mild schizophrenia. It was as if the clouds mourned with me yet held me unconscious. Something that left me with an interrogating spirit.
The 28th of January beckoned me like a normal day. Dressed, and unaware of the series of events, I imaginably thought of nothing else. That first hour of the morning though, I had my earphones plugged, and the song played was “If I Die Young” by The Band Perry (this was already mentioned once in this blog). I was at the edge of the classroom, with some of my classmates doing nothing else, and I sat down perceiving the message of the song. My friend, by name Renz, grappled one of my earplugs and listened to the song as well. He mentioned me “suicidal” right after. I was perplexed.
It was the second hour, and I was situated in the Physics lab (as we are to teleport to distinct rooms for different classes as a practice). I had small talk with my classmates pondering on that university option orientation on Silliman University (we had no classes on that hour then). After betting laughter, I noticed a large crowd huddling outside the walls. It was as if they felt another tremor.
It was the third hour. At this hour, it had me more perplexed. I was strolling with my huge backpack when I neared the huddling crowd. They were discussing and questioning themselves to the reason why class Newton was silent in their homeroom (their homeroom was our next class for this particular hour). When one of them students got out of the door, I asked him. “Why?” He told me, it was a sad movie. I was thinking though — maybe they were hardly scolded by their homeroom teacher. I suddenly caught sight of three students from the same class — looking for something — or someone. Of course, I was stunned.
I came across the canteen and sat down with some of my classmates. We had more chitchat and laughed horridly. To my amusement, several other students who were not from the Newton class were crying. This had me intrigued. Well, as one of them Kepler students, the thought of laughing round and about was a habit while everyone around was silent. My classmates were so too.
It was then the fourth hour. I walked right back to my homeroom and noticed more of my batchmates in unending tears. I looked upon their faces — unaware of what was going on. I thought, how can such scolding of one class affect the rest? Was it contagious then? As the crummy old being I was, I stayed away from them and went inside my homeroom. I was about to eat lunch when suddenly, teary-eyed Trisha dashed in the classroom. We were troubled so we huddled with the rest of the people inside the room.
“Nag-suicide si Lelis”
With the mention of the name. I was frozen for a couple of minutes. What? She would never. But, how? I was still in cement, trying to get the message. Kim Lelis — she was a very good friend of mine though we are of different classes. She was one of my homies when we were classmates in our first year of high school and definitely had some memoirs together. She was one of them happy-go-lucky individuals. So I was…shocked.
Said she was suicidead with chloroform and plastic and after 12 hours, her face was hard to decipher.
Hour after hour after hour. I tried to hide them crestfallen sentiments. As I arrived home, I burst into tears. “Ngano buang man ka, Lelis?” was the only thing I could say to her. I should have known. I should have helped her.
I had a hard time sleeping that night.
Lelis! So yeah. Kung nakahinumdum pa kas imung hinahangad pag earth nato ug atung dance craze kada math and the everything oh yeah…i’ll truly be missing those. Ikaw ang usa sa mga tawo na nakachange nako in a good way. Despite unexpected and I have no idea to why, sumthin ghapon ka.
Kung asa mn ka run, my prayers are with you and your family.