After the summer, the turbulent dilemma between being netizen and citizen simultaneously arises. Most especially if you are less to dying to becoming an engineer. Seriously, my life has been weighing all the odds on which I try to even out (see what I did there). High school may seem fair enough to balance radicalism and imagination. But now, I can’t even dare to tell myself to stop scanning at the latest news on the entertainment, watch the latest drama, and listen to the latest music. Just because my studies told me to.

I really wanted to cut my relations with the internet. I am trying to. I’m also wishing for some miracle during the last few days before midterm tries to crumble time. I wanted this to end.

I don’t want to be hurt by the news anymore. Hearing that f(x) will stop promoting, Kris’s ongoing tuxedo issue, a new girl group will arise affecting everything. It just seemed to me like perfectly bad timing. Am I too deprived of the fandom I have been all along in the internet?

I don’t want to be spoiled. Hearing that a new drama featuring that owl was already broadcasted, not watching the anime I have not seen just yet, and waiting for that new episode on Sherlock and OUAT.

I don’t want to listen to music. Most especially from the people whom I’ve been hurt the most.

Because of all these, I don’t want to be hurt. But my fingers involuntarily click on things unnecessary. And I tend to go on the drive. It’s as if everything would never grow on me. Am I that insane?

I wanted everything to end. By the first day of August, I want a brand new miracle. Isn’t it too much to ask?


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